Picture if you will a dark stormy wind lashed sea. And a small fishing boat being tossed about on top of the waves like a toy. A man stands in the waves calmly with His hand outstretched grasping onto the hand of another man who has sunk beneath the waves. The last couple of weeks I have been studying “Easy Gospels” in Thai. This story is one of the ones we need to learn and recite. Due to the simplicity of the language it is almost easy just to overlook the depth of the lesson this story about Jesus is trying to get across to us.
Tonight my emotions became like these storm tossed waves and I looked at my circumstances much like Peter looked at the looming waves poised to crash down over his head making his previous faith falter and fear to take over plummeting his body beneath the waves. He had just seconds before been walking calmly on top of those same waves his focus completely centered on his Savior but a moment of allowing his gaze to wander and fear poured into his heart. Until tonight the significance of this imagery and the lesson it has to teach has been lost on me as I have studied these stories. When asked in class what the lesson is I can answer easily as the child in Sunday school raising their hand with all the right answers but when the storm actually hit I was not prepared for the force of the gale and how it would cause my gaze to falter and faith to wane. Instead fear poured in ripping open old wounds and shredding the threads of trust that had already been weaved through previous storms. And when my heart screamed from the pain and blamed my loving Lord for causing my pain a still small voice spoke through the turmoil in my heart revealing the true cause of my anguish. I had taken my eyes off the only One who is able to save. I thought my relationship with Him was firm only to realize that actually for days I had not sought out the company of my Heavenly Father as I had in just resent days gone by. I had allowed other seemingly innocent things to become distractions, minor worries about the future I had allowed to grow in my mind without truly bringing them and surrendering them before the cross. And so now I paid the price as my heart ripped apart and vile puss of fear and unbelief came pouring out…..however something different happened this time. The Lord was not far off and quickly reached into my pain with warm arms ready to embrace and restore faith. In the past I could languish in this pit of despair for days. But as the Lord has continued His beautiful work in my heart those times have become shorter and shorter. I am now able to turn my eyes back to Jesus and allow Him to pull me out with less time wasted wallowing in self pity. My heart is brimming with joy and thanksgiving as once again peace reigns supreme in my heart and my worries and doubts are once again laid down at the feet of the only One big enough to handle them. The One I can trust with all the days that lay ahead.