I have to laugh softly to myself as I read over my old blogs. The verse "Nothing new under the sun" seems to sum up my life. I seem always to be on a journey somewhere and yet time and again I am faced with similar roadblocks, money, paperwork, uncertainty. I always seem to be somewhere in between goodbye and hello. And yet I never really leave and I never fully arrive. I am in this constant state of waiting. I always seem to be back in my home living off the mercy of my parents and yet the clock keeps ticking and I am a year, 2 years older. I guess the question in my mind is "When will my life begin...I mean really begin not just turn in circles." I feel like I have been walking through a maze only to come up against the same walls time and time again. They are veiled so as to look a little different and yet they are not. Is there a lesson I am supposed to be learning that I am not mastering. The movie Labyrinth was a favorite of mine when I was younger, I watched it over and over. There is a surreal quality to the film that seems to infuse my life as well. Like a dream where all the pieces are legitimate and yet come together in the most bizarre sequence. I have to wonder as I work towards leaving for Thailand again in the near future, will I be back here where I started within the year? When will I get off this circular railroad. Always stopping at the same stations, over and over again. Hmm...just some thoughts ......
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Bitsy, I hope you will continue to develop your love affair with words. You have a brilliant, insightful way of articulating life's journey. It is a pleasure to read your two recent posts.
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