Although exhausted all day both mentally and emotionally for some reason once my head hit the pillow I could not sleep. So I wandered downstairs to see what was new in the world of facebook.

The last few days have been difficult ones. I am closing in on the end of my time here in Lopburi and my thoughts have already moved on to what's ahead. The coming months will be busy ones as I wrap up my first year of Thai study and begin looking for and eventually arranging the the rental of a house in Bangkok. After that I will need to kick into high gear as I begin to furnish my house, find a new teacher to study with and prepare for my parents to come on holiday. All these things are running around in my mind alongside the thoughts of what lies ahead of me in Bangkok, both hopes and fears. I long for a Thai community in which to thoroughly immerse myself and I'm afraid of leaving the safety of the familiar for again another move, another adjustment, another new beginning. All these thoughts war in my head pulling my heart away from the task in front of me here in Lopburi. Learning Thai well.

So I can't help but think that the Lord is speaking to me about this very subject as tonight I opened my e-mail to find a devotional I get quite regularly via e-mail. Often it seems to be exactly what I need to hear and I can't ignore the message tonight either. Not time yet....

It is not time yet for my heart to disengage with the life around me right here, it is not time yet for my thoughts to be filled with details of moving. The Lord has used this story and the following verses many times in my life and I can't help but believe that He is using them again now.

What I wonder is...what is He still doing? I have learned to ask less and less why He allows things and instead change the question to what is He trying to do through the things He allows. What "sheep" does He want me to feed, what areas of my heart and character are as yet unformed?

I smile a little sheepishly at the writers comments about telling the Lord "She gets it." I have said the same thing on several occasions hoping I can convince the Lord that I'm done with that lesson so we can move on to the next thing or I've learned my lesson so now He can answer my prayer. I imagine He smiles a little and shakes His head and continues right on doing what He has been doing from the start. Making me into the person He created me to be, for His glory, on His timeline, and in His way.

He has been reminding me the last few days of how much higher He is then I am, how much greater His understanding then mine; these verses in Isaiah sum it up nicely:

25 "To whom will you compare me?
Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.

26 Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.

27 Why do you say, O Jacob,
and complain, O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the LORD;
my cause is disregarded by my God"?

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Rest For A Weary Soul Daily Devotional - Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Praise the Lord and Good Afternoon,

I've been deeply involved in the account of Lazarus, Martha and Mary. I've been preaching from it periodically since April/May and the Lord just won't budge from it. He's revealed some things to me from it and I continue to see things in it....what is frustrating though is not being able to leave it. Lord, certainly we can visit some other place....and even when I do read other passages, it still leads me back to John 11.

So why would I be frustrated, you ask? The same reason you get frustrated when you go through things over and over and over again. Or when someone asks you the same question repeatedly. It's like, "I get it." But when the Lord keeps you at a place, there are deep purposes, and it's far greater than you just "getting it."

I'm certain you've found yourself in a place where you "telling" the Lord to move on....most of the time, it's because we see something more interesting up ahead...or we have already made mental plans for what we're going to do when we "get there." Or we're just tired of the same scenery and feel like we need a change. But again, the Lord, isn't after giving you a change of pace, just for the sake of change. Everything, absolutely everything, the Lord does has purpose....and every place He leads us is also purposed by the Lord.

So, I'm calming down and taking my time with John 11. My prayer is now, "Lord, show me all I need to see, learn, understand, and apply to my life. And cause me to look without the blinders of "I already know this" I'm no longer doing, "Oh, no Lord...not again." It feels odd to say that I didn't want to be where the Lord had me...but it is true. I can offer ample examples of when I told the Lord, "I don't need to be here....please, please, please move me."

It's the flesh that says, "I already know. I've already answered the question....I know this stuff." But when the Lord is talking, even when we think we know....there's more to gain (and apply)....and until He says move on, I'll stay right here. Thank you Jesus for helping me to sit before You in expectancy at the table of John 11.


14 This is now the third time that Jesus shewed himself to his disciples, after that he was risen from the dead. 15 So when they had dined , Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs. 16 He saith to him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep. 17 He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep. (John 11:14-17 KJV)
In the Master's Service,

Pastor Michele D. Turner
Rehoboth Apostolic Ministries, Inc.
Author/Publisher of Rest For A Weary Soul Daily Devotional
Copyright 2005 - 2010 www.restforawearysoul.com
Email: restforwearysoul@aol.com

Matt 11:28-29 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.